October ā€” the air is crisp, the leaves are changing colour, and midterms have arrived. Itā€™s a busy time of year: everything seems due at once and you have no time to stop and take a breath. Itā€™s a time when you look forward to Reading Week and make all these great plans for seeing friends and getting caught up on readings and writing papers and presentations and studying for quizzes, tests, midtermsā€¦ and then actually spend most of it curled up in a blanket watching a movie or doing something equally unproductive. Now, donā€™t be too hard on yourself; if youā€™re like me, this so-called unproductivity is good for mental health. Everybody needs a break now and then.

However, I found myself getting lazy even before Reading Week arrived. Iā€™ve noticed stress hits me in one of two ways: panic attacks combined with late nights spent studying because I canā€™t sleep, or an absolute avoidance of my responsibilities. Neither is good, but somehow, either way I end up getting everything done on time. Weird, right?

This time around I’ve been avoiding school. Iā€™m still doing school work, but I dread it and make up all kinds of excuses to myself so I can do ANYTHING but what I actually need to get done. I combat this with many, many “To Do” lists and self-imposed deadlines etc.etc.etc. It worksā€¦to an extent.

The one class Iā€™m managing to stay on top of this semester is my MA course in 18^th Century Transatlantic Literature. Itā€™s my favourite course this semester; although, it doesnā€™t have much competition as Iā€™m only taking two lit classes right now. The class definitely stresses me out. Itā€™s a higher-level course than Iā€™ve ever taken; I have to read a novel and write a paper every week, and I have to participate in discussions every class, yet, I actually look forward to it. While this may not seem weird to most of you, I must add, it is at 8:30 am, so this level of enjoyment is shocking. I might feel like crying when I wake up at 6:30 to a pitch-black room because the sun still hasnā€™t come up, but once I get to class I love the small-group dynamic. I love hearing my peersā€™ opinions and having a class based around discussion instead of lecture style (which often makes me sleepy). In my opinion, if you have the chance to take small seminars that focus on discussion, DO IT. It is so worth it.

Now, despite enjoying at least one out of five classes every week (admittedly, some weeks I enjoy more than just the one), Iā€™m still a huge ball of stress. Yes, midterms and papers have got me down, but this whole upcoming-Master’s-deadline stuff is FREAKING ME OUT. Let me ask you, when do I have the time for this? Yes, I really want to apply to OGS and SSHRC and I really want to make the best application that I can, but right now I have about 0.0001% brain space to spend on these applications. So, what do I do? Shove it off to Reading Weekā€¦along with preparing three presentations, two papers, an assignment, studying for a midterm and a quiz, and reading three books. In seven days? I donā€™t think so. Not to mention, like many others, my part-time job doesnā€™t just stop. So again, I wonder, when do I have the time? The other thing is, these applications are just for grants for my MA, what about applying to the actual MA!? Iā€™ve tried to figure out the things I need for the online application, but, personally, “online” is not my best friend.

What Iā€™m getting at is October is hard and many of us get hysterical… and by ‘many of us’, I mean me. In a perfect world we would only have to take courses that we wanted to, we would have a surplus of time to finish assignments and applications, and we would be able to confidently say ā€œI did my bestā€ when we submit our work. But this isnā€™t a perfect world, this is University, and if it wasnā€™t hard it wouldnā€™t be worth while or important.

Now, I need to get off my lazy behind and get to work. And if the stress starts taking over again maybe Iā€™ll step outside, take a deep breath of cold autumn air, and admire the beautiful fall coloursā€¦ Before getting right back to work.

Good luck on your mid-semester deadlines everybody!

The post Amanda's Blog ā€“ Fall Changes appeared first on Faculty of Arts & Social Sciences.

Allow me to introduce myself: Iā€™m Amanda, a fourth-year student with a minor in studies. My passions are reading and writing alongside teaching and music.

Iā€™m really excited to be a ā€œLife in Englishā€ blogger this year because, while I am graduating in May, Iā€™m hoping my ŠÓ°ÉŌ­““ journey wonā€™t end quite yet; next year, with any luck, Iā€™ll be returning to this department as an MA student.

In all honesty, I love ŠÓ°ÉŌ­““ and that is why Iā€™m hoping to continue my graduate studies here. Some people have bad things to say about the school, about how supposedly ā€˜easyā€™ it is to get accepted, but to them I say Iā€™m proud to know that ŠÓ°ÉŌ­““ offers an opportunity for success to those who did not thrive in a high-school setting. And while people may think it’s easy to get in, it’s definitely not easy to graduate. Did I mention I want to be a teacher? I guess I like to hold out hope that everyone will find their academic passion and the fact that my school might allow somebody to do just that makes me proud. I hope someday, when I am teaching English at the high-school level, I can inspire even just one of my students the way some of my professors at ŠÓ°ÉŌ­““ have inspired me.

Of course, just because I am academically inspired doesnā€™t mean itā€™s easy going. Donā€™t get me wrong: sometimes I dread writing a paper, going to class in the coldest months of the year, or stomaching the long commute home just to spend yet another late night studying. But then again, every once in a while, a paper comes along, one that I sit with for hours mulling over a thesis and doing careful close reading, building an argument that I actually get excited about and throw all my passion into because I realize I’ve actually found a good idea. Have you ever heard something so nerdy as getting excited over some thorough literary analysis? Yet, that’s what I live for and that’s why I’m as excited as I am scared for my fourth-year to start.

Iā€™ll be honest: this year is particularly daunting and exhilarating for more reasons than one. First, I am balancing my fourth-year class schedule with my work (Iā€™m a piano teacher), my choir (the Canterbury Trebles), my mentorship (ŠÓ°ÉŌ­““ā€™s FYC program), and what little time I have left for a social life and family. I also commute from Manotick (where you may ask?), but thatā€™s nothing new. Second, while in previous years I worked to keep a high GPA to maintain my entrance scholarship and be able to apply to other awards, this year I am working to maintain those grades for grad school and eventually, teachers’ college. Scary stuff. Finally, this isnā€™t an ordinary fourth-year course load Iā€™m talking about. I am also one of the students in this yearā€™s Accelerated Pathway Program, which means that instead of taking two fourth-year courses, I am taking two graduate-level courses in their place.

What was I thinking, right?

So, while Iā€™m so excited to graduate and start this next chapter of my life, try out some MA-level courses, and to be a mentor to new students, I am also terrified of drowning under the weight of my new responsibilities.

But then, when I walk around the airy ŠÓ°ÉŌ­““ campus (which admittedly has a bit more construction than usual marring its peacefulness), it still gets a little easier to take a breath and know that I can do this, I can work hard, I just need to take it one day at a time.

Life in English is exhausting, scary, and difficult, especially when you know that there is no right or wrong answer in literary exploration, but rather you must rely on your ability to prove your own claims. But then, Life in English is also invigorating, fascinating, and enlightening precisely because there isnā€™t a right answer. Everything is open to investigation and imagination, your opinions are free to be shared and debated, and you can learn as much from your peersā€™ ideas as you can from your professors.

I look forward to learning from the experience of being a fourth-year blogger and maybe, if Iā€™m lucky, some of you will learn vicariously through my experiences as well.

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